Reflect, Pray, Write: If you want this year to be different, challenge the old belief systems holding you back
It is the start of a brand new year. Like brand new stationery, we love the smell, the touch, the opportunity, a crisp fresh new things bring. But doubt and fear quickly creep in when it comes to this fresh hope of a new year. Why? I think it is because we are still carrying over our old belief systems.
What do I mean by a belief system? My definition for this would be the thought patterns, attitudes and assumptions you fall back on by default. You might read a nice book, be inspired to change and then the next day you crawl back to your old belief system like crawling back into bed with dirty sheets because they are warm and familiar (plus you’ve worked hard and you just want Netflix).
Can you change your belief system? Yes. We are told to not be conform to the patterns in the world but be transformed by the renewing of the mind (I borrowed this line from someone else by the way). I have tried and tested this truth many times over and it is true. I have seen myself change and change again. I still struggle with some old belief systems but they have weakened or been removed all together. But what I have learned is I always had to go to the root of the belief.
So some practical advice if you want to make 2021 different? Yes, avoid catching COVID19 at all costs, but I am talking about something more life threatening than that — avoid a mundane existence with no passion for living, average goals and acceptance of the status quo. How? Challenge the unhealthy belief systems you are holding on to. OK but HOW???
Reflect: I make it an annual ritual to reflect on the last year and compare it with my life goals. Does this sound nerdy? Probably but if we never reflect how will we know where we are, what our speed typically is like and how we need to adjust our driving style to get to where we want to go? I often miss goals I set in January, but what does this tell me? Either I don’t actually care enough about the goal and should stop beating myself up over not getting there, or I need to set the goal differently.
Pray: Now I understand some people don’t believe in God but bear with me, if you pray you take time to focus on something other than yourself. That has countless benefits. It is the central tenet in all major religions. My firm belief is there is only one God and his truth is in the Bible. But for you, I encourage you to pray and reflect on who you are as a person and are you on the path you want to be on. Are you heading in the right direction. (For non-believing believers who want to pray, I really liked this article from Dakota Morlan The Power of Prayer in an Agnostic Life.)
Write: This is where rubber hits the road. Write the vision/dream/goal or conviction to change down and make it plain and run with it (OK stealing this one liner off someone too). Writing and journalling are such powerful tools to help develop your thinking, challenge yourself and make commitments. When you write it down, instead of just thinking it, you make it a lot more serious. Your brain has a more firmer grasp on the importance of the thing. To take it further, share it verbally with a friend. When you speak it out, you are taking a highlighter to it, underlining it and putting it in BOLD. You are saying that this is something you want to change.
Now none of this will really help you if you don’t get to the root of something. Sorry to say it but our hearts really are like gardens and naturally weeds crop up — in even the most saintliest of saints. And it’s no one’s job but our own to weed out those things that choke out life. Here are some examples:
- I never get much encouragement from people: You want this to change? Well could it be that you yourself are a negative person and need to speak encouragement over yourself. Then perhaps you will feel more akin to encourage others? Trust me, then you will feel encouraged by the littlest thing. Even a small bird sharing a close proximity and looking kindly at you will feel like a smile from the universe.
- I can never lose weight: Is it possible that you actually like the weight? Or do you have an unrealistic image of beauty? Do you want to live longer and actually give up some foods you love? If you can’t answer these questions honestly you’ll not be able to change. Even a stomach staple won’t save you cause you’ll spend your whole life seeing a fat person in the mirror.
- There are not enough nice guys to date: Sure there are, you just probably don’t have an open enough mind to where, how and who. I am not saying to just date anybody but for those that this truth resonates, you know who you are and you know what you need to do. Stop waiting for your prince (or princess).
- I am stuck in this marriage: You are blessed that another person wants to commit their life to you. Never forget that. Focus on honouring and loving them and let the laws of love and honour take care of things from there. Trust me. I know I myself am not married but I have hundreds of married friends and I have seen all shapes and sizes. This one rings true every time.
- No one sees my true potential: Your genius is still undiscovered and untapped. You know what, you are likely right. Most people’s genius is significantly untapped and it is sad, but you are likely playing it safe and you only have yourself to blame. If it is time to quit, then quit. I know we are in a pandemic but if you have the will, there is always a way. If you have no will then stop blaming others for not seeing your potential. They are too busy focusing on their own (and fair enough).
So these are just some examples of addressing the root of old belief systems that you need to kick in the butt if you want to move forward. Note, not all belief systems need challenging — if they are bringing fruit to your life, like faith in Jesus, then those are things you invest into. Tough love can be needed at times and if that’s what you needed as you enter 2021, it was my pleasure. If it isn’t what you needed, then just know that you are truly loved and special and life is a precious gift in your hands. Don’t try and bully yourself into changing, embrace the changes at your own speed and pace. We aren’t playing a game of Life here, this is YOUR life and only YOU can determine how you want to live it.
Bless you all and Happy New Year!