Stop faking, be authentic all the time
Many of us don’t realise when we’re being our authentic selves or not. We just get on with life. We want to be authentic. We would probably credit ourselves as being authentic 99% of the time. It’s when we need to really impress our manager or that special someone in our lives that we’re okay with going a bit beyond authentic. But I suggest we need to be authentic 100% all the time to be able to last the distance in anything in life. It’s too tiring putting on someone else’s skin. Put another way, integrity (where your inside self matches your outside self) will keep you together through challenges because you’re grounded.
Not another millennial rant
Why do so many millennials get a bad rep for wanting to change jobs more often than their predecessor generations? Is it because we’re commitment phobes? Maybe some of us are, but is that unique just to our generation? Is it that some of us are desperate for fulfillment? I don’t think it is that either. I think the answer lies in people needing to feel real on the job. We can’t just be an extension of the company identity. We have to have some say, a voice, that shapes the identity of the project because we were born with our own unique style and we can’t just trade that in for $65,000, $200,000 or even more in salary each year.
At the end of the day, we can only be remoulded so far before something snaps and we break. I’d argue that earlier generations felt the same but conformity was so highly prized and they wouldn’t dare risk coming across as fanatic, hippie or lazy and incompetent. What words we throw around to convince people to conform to what we think is the right way (our way).
I’m guilty of that.
One place to start is to be an 100% authentic employee
I’ve worked in some very traditional work environments. The status quo does have its place and it’s true, sometimes a task just needs to be done. But I think there is a lot of grey and white space to add your own signature. If you’re with a manager who is secure in themselves, they’ll likely protect your space to be authentic and guide you in still delivering what the company or organisation needs.
I’m not saying to turn down work just because it doesn’t “feel like you”. That’s unrealistic. Instead what I’m saying is that whatever you do, be authentic with it. If your manager asks you to write a report, ask for the boundaries and deliver your work within that. Why do we all try and write 3–5 page reports that look and sound just like our predecessors? Why not start off with a diagram inside the report if you’re that way inclined. Pull on history, design, laws of physics if you have to, but use your brain to its fullness. Then let your manager tighten the strings.
Added bonus, when you leave the role or organisation you’ll be remembered not for getting the job done, but for the unique thing you added to the team. Everyone will win if you make this simple tweak to the work you do.
Managers have a role to play
If you’re a manager, please take this on board. Your team mates might be faking a whole lot more than you realise. Mental health challenges are not always easy to detect. As people we have become so good at hiding behind a mask.
My commitment to myself whenever I have had leadership or managerial responsibilities has always been to try and empower people in my team to be their best selves and to be open with me when something isn’t working. If a task doesn’t fit their skill set, I would quickly try re-divert the task to another teammate or take it back on myself. How do I know it doesn’t fit? The younger generation are happy to say something. The older generations are harder to guess but you can usually see it in the quality of their output. If you take someone’s failures and mistakes beyond face value (i.e. you don’t jump to the conclusion that they’re inherently lazy or incompetent) you may yet discover gold in that person. Often we can’t see the potential with a tweak because we’re blinded by the need for delegation and hunger for efficiency.
But focusing on the individual over the project makes both the individual and the team a whole lot happier. We all enjoy the output and the process because we didn’t try to fake our skills or talents during the process. Getting to the end of the project happy, as a team, is perhaps more important than meeting the project’s deadline or budget.
Just like you all, I’ve had some bad and some good managers. I’ve also been both a good and bad manager. Don’t repeat the mistake of trying to make someone conform to your image of a successful employee. You’ll get the most out of your team when that team mate can be authentic in front of you. Trust will build and employee retention will too. For those who aren’t a right fit for the organisation, they will quickly realise it and you may be able to avoid some uncomfortable and hurtful conversations.
Of course I don’t have the complete recipe. Anyone claiming they do is peddling you a 12-step lie. I know this is a tough area of personal growth because it actually requires you to first admit to yourself where you’re faking it in life. But I hope you feel a little more encouraged to bring your 100% self to life and that includes the workplace.
Be the same person wherever you are and let life shape and mould you from that foundation rather than trying to fit into someone else’s skin.